


Of exploding buildings and kittens

by elletromil



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was about to ask Galahad what was the problem when he heard pitiful meowing over the comm lines, quickly followed by Arthur’s own series of expletives.<br/>“Is that… Is that a basket of kittens?”</p><p>Or the one time Merlin thinks that one of Galahad and Arthur's mission will finally go right. Right until they open the safe room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of exploding buildings and kittens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Inclinant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inclinant/gifts).



> It is my amazing wife Kallie's birthday today (well tomorrow for me, today for her, urgh timezones) and she prompted me Hartwin finding a basket of kittens on a mission and the kittens ending up with Q. This is the result. I hope you like wonderful sushicloud! *kissy faces*

“Merlin, we’ve made it to Dickson’s office.”

“Good, according to the blueprints there should be a hidden door somewhere on the back wall that opens up on the safe room.”

Galahad made a sound of acknowledgement as he made his way to the bookshelves lining the wall Merlin had pointed out. Meanwhile, Arthur was positioning himself near the door to guard the room against any intrusion.

So far, the whole mission had gone incredibly smoothly even though it wasn’t the type of mission Merlin would send either man on. However time had been of the essence and with every other agents on assignments in other countries or on mandatory leaves, Merlin had had no choice but to send them.

Surprisingly, even though stealth wasn’t their specialty, they had managed to get into the building undetected, avoid all the guards and not trip any alarms. If everything went according to plan, Galahad would be in and out the safe room in a few minutes, then him and Arthur would be out of the not exploding building and Kingsman would have acquired the files that would prove Dickson was planning some terrorist attack and the poor bastard would be arrested before he even knew someone had been in his safe room.

Busy that he was monitoring the cameras on the other floors to make sure no guards were approaching the office, Merlin missed the moment Galahad made one of the shelf rotate and get into the hidden room.

What he didn’t missed though was Galahad suddenly starting to curse and Arthur inquiring with worry in his voice what was the matter.

For a moment, Merlin thought the intel was wrong, that the files they needed were not where they were suppose to be, but from what he could see from Galahad’s feed they were exactly where he had expected them to be.

He was about to ask Galahad what was the problem when he heard pitiful meowing over the comm lines, quickly followed by Arthur’s own series of expletives.

“Is that… Is that a basket of kittens?”

It was indeed a basket of kittens.

“Who the fuck is that psycho!?” Merlin would normally advise against yelling during that part of the proceedings, but for once he was too shocked. In all his years working for Kingsman, nothing could have prepared him to this.

Luckily, Arthur was faster to recover from his surprise and grabbed the basket, ignoring Galahad’s rhetorical question.

“Eggsy take the files, we’re getting out now.”

The used of Galahad’s real name snapped Merlin out of his shock and he groaned in disbelief. “Really Harry? Why we even bother with code names is beyond me at this point.”

“It won’t matter in a few minutes Merlin.”

Before he could demand explanations to what would have been a cryptic statement had he not known Harry _bloody_ Hart for more than thirty years now, Arthur disconnected his comm lines and so did agent Galahad.

Merlin allowed himself a moment to bang of his head on the desk before going back to watching over the multiple cameras of the building. If there was suddenly an emergency he knew he would be able to activate the comms again, but for now it was best to let the two men do what they did best.

Bring mayhem and destruction.

With a sigh Merlin called up for a cover-up crew.

So much for no exploding buildings.

*

A little more than an hour later Harry and Eggsy were back at HQ with both the files and the kittens. Most of the technicians currently present and not in the middle of handling a crucial mission were huddle around the basket of purring kittens while Eggsy and Harry were trying to pretend they gave a shit about Merlin yelling at them for reckless behavior and his lecture about discretion and stealth.

“Come on Merlin, had you been there you would have done the same,” Harry interrupted after a few minutes. Whatever Eggsy was about to add got stuck in his throat when Merlin directed his sharp glare at him.

“If by the “same” you mean not left the kittens in the safe room, then yes I would have done the same thing. However, if you mean getting in a fight with several trained armed guards while holding said kittens and thus endangering them, then no, no Harry I really wouldn’t have.” He looked at Harry trying to convey the seriousness of the matter. Even if the kittens had all made it to HQ safely, a stray bullet could have been all it took to turn a funny story into a horrible one.

“I see you say nothing about the explosion though.”

“For fuck’s sake Harry the man had locked up _kittens_ , of course I would have at least destroyed his damn building!”

When Eggsy snorted, Merlin knew it wasn’t the right thing to answer, at least not if he had wanted his prior words to have any impact on the young man. He sighed for the umpteenth time that night before making a shooing motion with one hand.

“Just… Just go back to your kittens. They won’t be staying long.”

Eggsy opened his mouth to protest, but Harry just lead him toward the basket. The other man knew that there was simply no way to keep the kittens at HQ, especially not with all the dogs running on the grounds already.

A instant message pop up on his screen as soon as Merlin turned back to his computer and he allowed himself his first real smile of the night when he saw what it was.

**Sure I’ll take them. Bring them tomorrow.**

***

Bond was expecting to get chewed out by his quartermaster even before Q could see the singed parts of equipment he had been provided with for his latest mission and trusted to bring back. Q might not know the specifics yet, but with his car at the bottom of the St-Laurent all the way back in Canada, he had thought a dressing down would be in order.

He was wrong.

The quartermaster barely mentioned the car, only rattled off the price, and merely sighed when he looked over the destroyed technology.

The reason for Q’s mellow mood soon become apparent when a kitten jumped on his desk and Bond was witness to the cutest boyish smile in existence.

“Q, where are all these cats even coming from?” He asked when he finally notice that the underground office now seemed to be overtaken by small felines.

“I know people… Or rather people know me.” Came the cryptic answer.

Bond was tempted to ask for more explanations, but finally decided against it. The cats and Q seemed very pleased with their arrangement, judging by the other man’s relaxed demeanor and the purring.

That was all Bond really needed to know.


End file.
